Hello,
my name's
Biff.
I'm an
AOL-SUX-aholic.
Hello,
Biff!
Listening
to the media go on and on about the information superhighway put me over
the edge. It seems these media clowns tell AOL horror stories then call
them Internet horror stories. There are some good people at AOL. I know
both of them and they both have real Internet Service Providers (ISPs).
Think
public education is going to hell in a hand basket? Worried about Goals
2000 or "Outcome Based Education"?
Consider this. One of the kids brought home an AOL disk. His teacher gave
it to him as a reward. High achievement gets you 10 free hours of
AOL (the great equalizer).
The
last straw was
AOL
Experts explaining the 'Net to the masses.
From: Damien Doe
Subject: bad link
I tried following the link from "AOL experts" explain the internet to
the masses and got a message that their web-page had been updated and
that the link no longer existed -- hmmmm.... was that a strike on their
part?
I think it dawned on the powers that be at AOL that appearing to be idiots is
bad enough without a couple of boneheads shooting their collective mouths off to prove it.
Now they're running some lame-brain column to prove they don't understand usenet newsgroups.
http://www.aol.com/rants/scoop/
Later, I've got an AOL voodoo doll that needs a few more free AOL disks stuck into it.
If
you're currently using AOL for Internet access, have I got a deal
for you.
Time
for a little satire.
Trent wants to use your AOL disks for a good cause. Check it out:
Trent's AOL disks
Nikki's 1997 AOL Collection
- Nikki's turning those AOL disks into Christmas presents.
Looking for a good ISP
Philip thinks there is hope for AOL users.
I think the only AOL users who aren't addicted to "chat rooms" are hackers using AOL for free Internet access.
Prove one of us wrong! Check out: Introduction to Internet Service Providers (ISPs)
Other people with comments about AOL:
America Online Trash
Not in the pyramid yet.
Why AOL Sucks
Why stop supporting AOL?
AOL Sucks Images
Let's Screw With AOL!
AoL SuX!!!
AOL Hell
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FAQ
- Why?
- Because it's time. Build it and they will come.
- I guess it's none of my business, but...
- How can I become part of this great enterprise?
- If your running Netscape, read "Wannabe a
Member". If you're running lynx, we need to talk.
- alt.aol-sucks
FAQ Part 1/3 - Censorship
Hate Mail
Dear Biff,
You suck!
TL, President AOL
Dear Prez,
You'll have to speak to my girlfriend about having that chrome removed
from your trailer hitch.
Fan Mail
Dear Biff,
Cool!
Iced T
Dear Ice Cube,
Chill!
Dear Biff,
It's about time.
Albert Einstien
Dear Albert,
It's all relative but it's really about AOL.
Dear Biff,
AOL lied to me. They're not really
the internet. Can you tell me who is?
HEART BROKEN
Dear Heart Broken,
What you're looking for is an ISP. Check out http://www.aaanime.net/isp/
for more info
Before you start jumping for joy, read Perfect
Tommy's "Kill
Your Provider"
Dear
WebWalker,
Your page (AOL Sux Pyramid) was visited by a representative of DORX
inc., and we've reached a verdict...
IT SUX!
Yours is the prestigious honor of wearing our GIF OF SUXINESS.
If you accept or wish to retort; please reply.
Dear
DORX inc.,
Thank you. I can't express in words how honored I am to receive this
prestigious award. I'm
dreamed since childhood of this moment -- but I must thank all the little
people who made it possible. First, Steve Chase. Steve's AOL has inspired
us all to SUX. My dog,
Zorra
(someone told me to always add some human interest to my speeches). The
cockroaches in the kitchen that remind me of AOL when I turn on the light
at night -- but mostly I have to thank all those damn AOL "free hours"
disks that made the dog's new house possible and launched a thousand new
jokes on the internet. So in conclusion, I must say this page will wear
the GIF OF SUXINESS forever with great pride (or at least until the thought police haul
my ass away).
Date: 17 Apr 2002 09:25:18 -0000
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Congratulatory notice
Greetings,
You're recieving this message because you've been
featured in a review on ursux.com, a site we've
developed to showcase some of the worst sites we've
come across on the web.
If you would like to display our award on your site,
you can use the following code:
---- start award code ----
[Boring HTML deleted.]
---- end award code ----
You can check out the review at
http://www.ursux.com/view.sux?id=154
Yours Truly,
ursux dotcom staff
www.ursux.com
Just down right confused.
Dear Biff,
This Sucks !!! AOL Rules !!!
U. R. Lame, A Legend in my own mind.
Dear Biff,
I'm going to have AOL cancel your internet account.
Ima Nutt
Dear Biff,
Me too!
R. E. Dundent
Dear Biff,
Who are you bastards and how did you get this crap into my web site?
The Web Walker -- http://www.lies.com/
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